After Betrayal - Understanding Truth

15 May 2023

To think that it started with being pushed backwards down a flight of stairs… it took falling and catching myself to see that the lie … was not just the cheating. It was so much much more. Thousands of dollars of help later I’ve realize two very big hard truths.

I watched as someone slowly started to lie more an more to me about their cheating, it started simple with a non answer as to why they changed the sheets. I remember clearly as I have notes to friends, texts, and other data points. At one point the data was so good, I pulled public GPS data and confirm time and dates that correspond with texts. It’s just sad really when people think that data doesn’t provide the truth. When they literally carry it with them data footprints everywhere.

I watched a second time as Snapchat slowly started gaining points. I asked the questions and while I did get an answer it was not the correct answer. It was the promise made after a birthday on a lake that ultimately made me realize something was off. It was the promise of changed behavior followed by lack of empathy or change that unravelled the thread to finally their friend accidently sending something, that lead to a screenshot accidently sent… to uncovering a timeline of a different truth that started just a few weeks after getting engaged. A betrayal and general disrespectful behavior all hyper focused on because of an poorly thought out act of self sabotage in the car which directly jeopardized the safey of others.

You can hate me. You can go out there and say anything you want about me, but you will love me later because I told you the truth. ~ Mary J Blige

I watched as the truth of what happened got denied all while I sit with the entire body of data. Both with the lines “it’s only you …” and “I didn’t cheat until …”

I don’t know what was harder to heal from the change of the future plans, the betrayals, the cheating, or the denials. I know the phrase “you dated the same person, again, you can’t expect change” to be the first of many personal gut wrenching changing moments. In both cases the past they were intracting with were their Achilles heel and the source of the pain they inflicted … and the scary thing is the data via messaging shows the people and timestamps. It’s even scarier finding the evidence given to you by them, via messaging, of the betrayals.

Is truth always positive? Of course. Once the truth comes out, you know, it’s all right. We’re scared that if the truth comes out that it’s not all right. It’s the other way around. ~ Yoko Ono

Those paths are in the past. The data remains, the memories remain, the heart reminds the head that it still loves unconditionally … even after finding out the truth. Even with the continued stalking (data doesn’t lie).

In the end, the truth always wins out. It always does, no matter how many times you tell a story that isn’t true. In the end, the truth comes out. There’s either video evidence or photographic evidence. ~ Gayle King

Now to just let the systems in place just do their thing.